Excerpts

A better idea of what goes on behind those office doors:

C: I hate today already. I've been here an hour and it feels like three! WAHWAH!
MS: this 15-year-old kid who was crawling up and down the halls just ran into my office and stole my water off my desk and starting drinking it. his doctor had to fetch him. so, now i'm out of the first water i ever purchased from the coke machine downstairs (i felt like non-water fountain water this morning).
MD: My work has water with it's own labels--Private label water! And free hot chocolate, 3 kinds. Marshmallows, Regular, and less fat plus calcium (my choice). So, Stanky, you may have all of the fun at work and do stuff that actually matters, but I've got all the beverages I can handle- for free, which I drink while spinning in my chair.
G: i lost a receipt for a nice expensive suit from br. why i thought i needed something lined with double reinforced buttons is beyond me, as I’m likely competing for jobs with someone who’s never heard of banana republic. or a suit for that matter.
MD: Gwennie, if this makes you feel better... Yesterday I brought home a S & F mug just for you. You can drink coffee out of it while wearing the business suit and yell things like, "And I need this on my desk yesterday! Where are documents! God damn!"
G: ha, i laughed out loud. true or false: my parents dont know im currently unemployed, so im sitting in the (town) library, pretending im at work.
MD: You could come to work with me and sit in my office with me. I may have mentioned this before, but I have an extra chair.
C: I just bought yogurt covered raisins and a big tub (yes, tub) of regular raisins. Kristine got a two pack of the Hostess cupcakes. I also have one scoop of protein for my after lunch snack. Do you guys even know me? I went to the gym and had to admit to (trainer) that I can't even do one push up. He made me do a bunch of push up stuff and laughed most of the time. He said that he was going to turn me into a piece of steel. That's right, steel. I can't lift my arms today.
G: i dont like this new "buff colleen." its like we dont even know you: special times for "protein," steel arms and other orifices. Whats next--you cant drink alcohol. who does this t. think he is? is he all lubed up and tan like leather? spiky hair? in my head hes all of these things. oh, wait, now im just thinking of the "hot bodies," who stripped for me.
C: Don't worry, I joined a gym in the first place so I could eat fried foods and drink like a fish. I'm not craving the fried foods, but I NEED the booze. I'm still the same old g.
...I should say that I actually really like T. We generally have a pretty good time, and I'm fine with teasing. He also pointed out my huge man socks at stretching time, and I said, I like to wear mens socks because I have such big feet. He asked what size, called them skis and then pointed them out to one of the other trainers. I spend most of my workout saying "you are a horrible person" and "I hate you", so I'm fine with whatever he has to offer. I think he finds me entertaining, which is really all I'm after.
Oh, can I also say that I'm reading this magazine and they are featuring this vibrator that is an attachment to a cell phone. It goes off for 20 seconds every time you receive a text and the whole time you have a conversation. Let me tell you. If any of you cats are having this sort of party while I am talking to you, I will kill you.
D: lovely lady lumps: so im sitting in the teacher college, enjoying a free beer i ganked from the soiree they held tonight. imagine a room full of chips, semi warm drinks; and not that fun french kids--a mix of teachers-to-be and history masters students. anyone naked? not when i left. so i also got jenny to grab a bag of peanuts and now im living large, checking my email.
what to report....dealt with satans spawn today at one school. found out that school also has a girl with creepy crawly lice. in a class i teach. guess whos wearing her hair way, way up on thursday. tried to teach thanksgiving; ended up confusing the kids with my wacky past tense constructions about these darned 'colonistes' and 'indiens d'Amerique'. but turkey hands were a huge success. got to look for some word searches or something for the rest of the week.
i almost forgot. i bought a red bike today!!! flat wheels; so theyre getting repared. come friday, im flying
MD: Congrats on the bike! Sounds like a dream. Ride off into the french sunset!
MS: i think colleen and t. are gonna make it. maybe with the vibrating phone attachment. if he can forgive her "skis", she can forgive the fact that he's a trainer.
MD: This bike talk is making me wish that my bike never got stolen, returned, and restolen.
D: god, so much support! thanks guys. know im terrified that my bike will either a) fall apart in a file of rusty parts while im riding it or b) cause me to have a horrendous head injury since i have no helmet. lets hope it only helps me get to my faraway school on time
MD: Knit a helmet
D: so my brain can ooze out of my own handiwork? knitting in the round; it is!