"Loveplay"

brought to you by mara

we all have to complain about our jobs from time to time, no matter how much we sometimes like them. i, for one, complain about not having enough to do when the clinic isn't busy. i've remedied this situation in numerous ways, as have my co-ladydenners who also have long periods of downtime. it's called "obsessive gmailing".

another thing i complain about is the rigidity of my hours. sure, everyone has a certain time they should be at work, but i hate having to swipe my ID card to "clock" in my time. it makes me feel like an animal. am i seriously being less productive if i'm a minute late? that's not to say i wouldn't push the start time if there were less stringent rules, but just knowing they're 'watching' me makes my desire to sleep in even stronger. this week has been especially bad, but i think that's because of my Newly Adopted Laziness. my gym has been ridiculously busy ever since everyone and their mother made working out more often their new year's resolution. where were they when i had a row of elliptical machines to myself? anyway, i fixed this problem by just not going anymore. it might be a less constructive solution than the gmailing, but err...i'll make it up in the summer...yeah...

but if i ever complained before, i certainly complain less now. why is that, you ask? because as of two weeks ago, i've become part of a sex clinic. i work as a sex-therapist-in-training from 5-10 monday evenings.

yes, that's right. sex therapy. i have a couple i am working with and a co-therapist. it's a dream, really. we all get along smashingly, and i've really started looking forward to my weekly sessions. so far, we've done a physical exam and gone over their sexual histories. in addition, they have weekly homework assignments called 'sensate focus' that involve non-gential touching. next week, we take them on what's called 'the fantastic voyage' through their bodies, show them a video of a woman from the '70s masturbating, and do some gestalt therapy (imagine your 'relationship' is in the chair, now tell it how you feel). you can bet i'm going to put a lot of things in the chair! their relationship, the ex-wife, vibrators, george bush.

you can imagine after five hours straight of sexual discussion how things have gotten in my own bedroom! oh, wait. i am going to go cry now...and then maybe put 'lack of action' in the chair.

me: why do you keep avoiding me? i've been so open to you in the past.
the chair a.k.a. my lack of action: i think you've abused your privileges
me: what? what does that even mean?
t.c. a.k.a. m.l.a.: i...i don't know.