We love Grizzly Man.

by Megan



“I think that maybe those bears just put up with him there for so long because they thought he was retarded or something,” says a man with a thick handle bar mustache who is standing in the wilderness in front of a small plane.

Right. The bears had a conversation and decided that someone was mentally retarded, so they didn’t eat him right away. The bears would feel bad about eating the retarded guy because he just didn’t know any better. That’s just what bears do. They sit down over a cup of joe and have a meeting regarding the current mental status of the man who has decided to live in their midst every summer for fifteen years. I buy it.

If you believe that this happens, and that bears are reasonable beings with which to deal with, then you must be Timothy Treadwell—well, he’s dead now because a bear ate him, but maybe you knew Timothy Treadwell and were part of his Grizzly Bear Fan Club.



Last August, a documentary came out called Grizzly Man. This movie has pieced together footage from Timothy Treadwell’s summer excursions to the Alaskan wilderness to live with, study, and befriend brown grizzly bears. This film also has many other kooky characters, presumably for the benefit of future action figures or coloring books. There’s the Crazy Coroner, complete with shifty eyes and lack of subtleness! Then there is Jewel, who describes herself sort of like “Timothy’s widow”. “They dated for five years,” she is sure to remind you over and over and over again throughout the film, as if to validate the fact that just because she loves nature, short bob haircuts, and boots, doesn’t mean she’s a lesbian. But Timothy Treadwell, with his short blonde bob haircut, boots, and love of nature might just be a lesbian.


Also included in the film are a cast of characters that the Lady Den Girl’s came to love and enjoy throughout the film almost more than the actual Grizzly Man himself. We loved the bears. I loved the foxes but the bears, too.

The movie is full of terrific moments between Timothy and his animal friends. He’s like a modern day Saint Francis of Assisi, minus the religious aspect (at one point in the film he refers to the son of God as “Jesus Boy”), the tranquility (he liked to swear at the animals and then burst into tears), and the posthumous reverence and admiration that Saint Francis received. More likely, people look at Timothy Treadwell and think something more attune to what the pilot was thinking: Was he retarded?.

Timothy was sure to give each of his animal friends a special name, which the Lady Den quickly adopted as their own. Colleen and I, who were maybe most in love with the movie, picked which bear or fox friend most accurately described each Lady Den girl.

There was…

-Sergeant Brown, who is most like Daina for his strict Eastern European ways and enjoys to knit.
-Wendy, who is really a lot like Mara. She was also Timothy’s favorite bear, as is proven in the poop scene. Timothy is walking down a path and sees a steamy pile of shit. He proceeds to touch the poop and then says, “Some people might think it’s weird because I’m touching the poop… but it was in Wendy! I love Wendy! It’s a part of her!” Yeah, that about sums up Mara.
- Aunt Melissa, is clearly Katie, maybe only for the reason that Timothy named her “Aunt”. She sounds like an old lady who might make you cupcakes and dress in sweater vests. Now if only Aunt Melissa the Bear chugged Miller Lites like a desert traveler who hasn’t had any fluids in weeks, then it would be a dead on comparison.
- Mr. Chocolate is Colleen. We have decided that Timothy really meant that the bear’s name was Mr. Choklit, because the bear was super hip. But now to be even more hip, the name is M-Chok, like a rapper.

And then there were the fox friends, who were my personal favorite for their little tricks and games.
-Timmy the Fox is me, Megan (or T-Fox, my rapper name). I love that Timothy named a fox after himself. I also love that none of the bears have “the Bear” after their name, as if to clarify their species. Timmy the Fox was just hilarious the whole movie! A real show stealer!
-Ghost is Gwen. He’s a good friend of Timmy the Fox and lives in the same den. Ghost also caused some trouble and made Timothy very angry. He stole Timothy’s hat which led to a chase scene. “Ghost!” Timothy yells. “You come back here with that hat! That hat is critical to this trip! CRITICAL!” After yelling this, Timothy appears to have a little breakdown where he starts to cry and screams, “Ghost! If that hat’s in the den I’m gonna fuckin’ explode!” Woah. Settle down, Timothy.

The Lady Den suggests that everyone see this movie. We are not recommending it so you can further your appreciation of nature and the majesty of the Grizzly Bear and the need to increase and expand conservation efforts, but we recommend it so you can see these crazy, crazy people. You might think, “At least I didn’t let myself get eaten by a bear, so I must not be that crazy.”

Some of Our Favorite Quotes:
Timothy: “I've always wished I was gay, it would have been a lot easier. You know, it's just Bing! Bing! Bing! - gay guys, no problem. They go to restrooms and truck stops and perform sex, it's like so easy for them and stuff.”
Timothy: “If that hat’s in the den, I’m gonna fuckin’ explode!”
Sam Egli, the Pilot: “That bear, I think, that day, decided that he had either had enough of Tim Treadwell or that something clicked in that bear's head that he thought 'Hey, you know, he might be good to eat.’”
Timothy: “I want rain. I want, if there's a God, to kick some ass down here. Let's have some water! Jesus boy! Let's have some water! Christ man or Allah or Hindu floaty thing! Let's have some fucking water for these animals!”